Tag Archive: election08

Saying Goodbye to the Bush Administration… in Verse

Calvin Trillin, like many of us subject to the increasingly mysterious and nonsensical whims of the Bush administration, was obviously a man in pain. While some blogged and others made YouTube videos, Trillin decided to let it all out in verse.

The various doings and undoings of the Bush Administration are extremely painful to look back at without a shield of humor such as the Daily Show or the Colbert Report. But in a pinch, Calvin Trillin’s poems and songs and etudes to the previous administration—as well as the 2008 election—provide us a way to look back without losing our lunches, while preserving the fact that these last eight years have been majorly fucked up.

Obliviously On He Sails: The Bush Administration in Rhyme by Calvin Trillin

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Each part of this book opens with a poem, continues with some commentary to provide context, a little jolt to your memory, before easing out into much poetry and verse. This model is followed by the other two books as well.

A sample poem from Part 7: Just Invade Something.

We Speak Not of Osama
(With apologies to Cole Porter, the master, who wrote “My Heart Belongs to Daddy”)
The towers fell. We knew full well
The villain in this awful drama.
His name held sway, ’til he got away,
Now we speak not of Osama.
We said we’d pound him once he’s found
So flat that he’d cry for his momma.
Forget that jive, that “dead or alive,”
‘Cause we speak not of Osama.
He’s not even in the axis.
No, his evil did not make the grade.
For the the thing he mostly lacks is
A country that we can invade.
He could be in Yokohama,
Or Bahrain or Belize or Dubai.
But to get back at Osama
We’ll just pulverize some other guy.

A Heckuva Job: More of the Bush Administration in Rhyme by Calvin Trillin

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A sample from part 8, “Secrets: Keeping Them, Leaking Them, Extracting Them, and Listening In on Them:”

The President’s Measured Response to Criticism of His Secret Domestic Spying Operation

Since I am commander in chief,
My powers to spy or debrief
Are limitless. That’s my belief.
So go somewhere else with your beef.
I’ll do what I want when I want to.
Since terror is not like croquet,
The NSA does what I say.
Despite your softheaded dismay,
My Nanny Dick says it’s OK.

Deciding the Next Decider: The 2008 Presidential Race in Rhyme by Calvin Trillin

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Probably the best book of the three, with a different approach: instead of prose commentary, we have parts where the commentary has been turned into verse and is interspersed, appropriately at times, by smaller songs and poetry. This works better, I think, although we’re not going to come anywhere close to the quality material1 from the Bush years.

Although some of it does come pretty damn close. From part 22, “So Where’s the Blowout?”:

The prospects for the GOP looked dim
Before the credit crisis got so grim
That economic sages weren’t averse
To saying things were bad and could get worse.
McCain had said forthrightly all along
His grasp of economics wasn’t strong.
McCain’s main man on economic matters
Said our economy was not in tatters.
The problem was, he said, our point of view,
And that’s been whiny rather than can-do.

Phil Gramm Says We’re a Nation of Whiners
As senator, Phil was among the designers
Of laws that helped Enron, which showed no decliners,
Manipulate prices of oil from refiners.
(Its stock can be used in your cat box, for liners.)
His laws helped the mortgage thieves rook naïve signers
Who then lost their houses and can’t afford diners.
So now he decides we’re a nation of whiners.
Figures.

Oh Bush. There are some things we’ll miss about you. There will be a time of nostalgia for your era. Like the nostalgia that exists for the Cold War era.

I welcome our new Democratic overlords. Including the unicorns they came riding in on.

Inauguration 2009!

  1. Fertilizer, I like to think of it as. []

Video Highlights of Election ‘08: In the New Millenium, SNL Spins YOU

So on November 1st, Dick Cheney endorsed Senator John McCain1

Our ever intrepid famous reporter what Twitters, @ricksanchezcnn, asked the following question:

which endorsement is most damaging, cheney for mccain, or chavez for obama?
about 1 hour ago from web

TwitScoop, as always, picked up on the buzz and it steamrolls onwards.

I actually couldn’t imagine a more damaging endorsement than Bush, and now I have it: Dick Cheney. By the way, here’s the famous Saturday Night Live opener where Bush endorses a fugitive McCain (includes Tina Fey goodness):

You know, Tina Fey’s been such a godsend to Saturday Night Live that the “Tina Fey effect” has been seriously discussed as yet another factor leading to the McCain campaign’s doom. Although I’m pretty sure that Sarah Palin dooms the campaign all by herself, here’s a little demo from CNN:

Right now, some pundits are saying that McCain’s latest appearance on SNL indicates that he’s in the acceptance stage of defeat. I’ll let you figure it out, but this is revealing, I think.

Poor Senator McCain. I want to give him a hug. Except he would probably slam me hard into a wall.

  1. From the Daily Kos. Now with video! []

Video Highlights from Election ‘08: Quadruple Play with Stewart and Colbert

The Daily Show and the Colbert Report don’t just have a following on YouTube (which clips and displays and shares and loves them both), but Comedy Central also provides online videos themselves—embeddable and all that. I’ll share with you four of my favorite clips:

Daily Show: McCain Returns to Washington

Jon Stewart covers the days before and the days after John McCain stood up David Letterman, revealing more behind the story than most of the “real media” would dare to say. As per the usual.

Favorite quote:

By the way, we’ve just heard about 10 minutes ago that the [bailout] is falling apart. So in between them accepting the deal and the deal falling apart… Senator John McCain came back to Washington.

The Daily Show: 10,000 McCainiacs

Remember all the fanatical and scary rallies that the McCain campaign encouraged and, at least on McCain’s part, seriously regretting? Oh, right, those haven’t gone away yet. I’m not sure when they’ll go away. Anyways, Jon Stewart’s got the goods:

Favorite bit:

If you’ve raised the monster to fear and despise fire, it’s awfully hard to convince the monster that fire can also be used in cooking…. [cuts to the aftermath of McCain telling his rally that Obama is a decent man, which is not pretty]

Colbert Report: The Word – Fantasyland

Not to be outdone (indeed, never to be outdone, at least not for very long), Stephen Colbert, in one of his best “The Word” segments, dissects the threat of ACORN:

Favorite:

McCain clip: We need to know the extent of Senator Obama’s relationship with ACORN…

Colbert: And we need to know it soon. Because if there’s nothing there, we’d like another week and a half to find something good.

Second-favorite:

And we all know that the fabric of democracy is very fragile. Because it is made out of the founding fathers’ pantyhose.

Really, there’s so much to like about this particular Word. Colbert covers the Help America Vote Act, what ACORN does, what actually counts as voter fraud, and also that John McCain was keynote speaker at one of ACORN’s conventions.

Colbert Report: John McCain’s Big Prank

Oh, and remember the time he picked Sarah Palin?

Really, it’s hard to quote from Steward and especially Colbert, because the delivery (not just body, but voice) is very much a part of both the information and the humor. (Of course, humor is information, so…)

Sometimes you need to go to the fake media to get the real news.

Video Highlights from Election ‘08: Pissing Off David Letterman

We all remember McCain’s flight retreat suspension of his campaign, and the flummery that followed.

YouTube lets us relive those moments. Even better, it lets us choose which moments we want to relive. You’ll find wonderful clips such as this montage of David Letterman’s pissed off self when McCain stood him up:

YouTube. The world is watching. And can hit replay, send links over email, stumble, digg, Twitter, etc.

Dear McCain, You’re Playing with Fire: On Khalidi, the LA Times Video, Obama, and the October Non-Surprise

Dear McCain,

I do actually wish you well in this political campaign, although for whatever reason you’ve made some… questionable decisions.1 We all make mistakes. Some of them are less revokeable than others, and some of them are more important than others.

So believe me when I say that I speak from the bottom of my heart in honestly warning you: with respect to demanding the release of the video tape of Obama at a party with Khalid, you are playing with fire.

Here is the main reason for my too-late warning:

Obama knew this was coming.

It has been an undeniable possibility, and that for months. The fact that you were turning your campaign to the attack almost certainly meant that your current tactic would be almost inevitable.

Remember when you brought up Ayers? He unleashed the Keating 5 ads shortly thereafter, something that had obviously been planned far in advance, even down to the domain name and the videos. And he was composed enough to actually brush off Ayers, successfully, in the debates afterwards.

This is different. Obama went to Khalidi’s party2, sure; and he toasted the man; that is undeniable. You, on the other hand, funded Khalidi to the tune of $448,873.3 Do you realize what he probably has planned for you? This is a trap.4

Obama is going to destroy you. He can mitigate; you cannot. Even the Drudge Report has pulled this story, and you know Matthew Drudge is, more than most of the right at the moment, on your side. Obama likely has something planned, or knew this was a non-issue or would blow up, all by itself, in your face.5

And it looks like the explanation for the LA Times suppression video suppression has shown up. Good job, you. I had hoped to God6 that your campaign advisers were more sensible, though they may believe this is the absolute last ditch effort they can make and thus they will make it.

You’ve likely royally screwed your campaign. Even more. I didn’t think that was possible.

Good luck on this.

Sincerely,
S∂
Still supporting Obama ‘08

To all the rest: yes, I’m closing comments. I don’t have time to deal with all the political batshit on both sides that might result on my blog, tiny and insignificant and unworthy though it is.

Also, I find it strange this request came at nearly end of business on the 28th. This is the sort of thing that needs to hit the morning before decisions can be made. Tactical timing, I suppose. Didn’t quite work out.

Sources:

  1. And those are why I’m not voting for you. Your campaign is pulling itself to pieces over her, and not in a good way. Not even you like her. []
  2. I’m neutral on Khalidi, for what it’s worth. Update: Joe Klein sets people straight. Update #2: Jo-Ann Mort sets people straighter. []
  3. I’ll note that it would only take half a year for your VP candidate to spend more than that at Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus. []
  4. I realize that sounds a bit over-reacty and hallucinatory, but I don’t think it quite is in this case. Sadly, for you. []
  5. That’s been part of his style, amusingly enough. []
  6. I normally say gods. But I’ll bend here for you. []

Schadenfreude Pie: Michele Bachmann

Schadenfreude: n.
delight at the misfortune of others

Update Oct 28th 2008 9:05am PST: All videos back.

Update Oct 27th 2008 10:30am PST: Wow, someone nuked half of the YouTube videos. Colin Powell and the Daily Show clips are still there, but the others are all gone (they were working this morning as I in the Pacific Northwest think of morning). I suppose someone in the Bachmann campaign reads teh Internets.

Additional note: I preserved the most salient quotes from the videos that were vaporized, however. If I can find related Daily Show/Colbert Report/etc clips I’ll put them up.

funny pictures

It’s not so much because she’s a Republican. Let me put it this way: much as I despise Sarah Palin, at least she isn’t stupid enough to start actively calling for the advent of McCarthyism. (Although I’m sure Palin will at some point. It seems inevitable as a Neocon position.)

Related items:

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Pundit Kitchen: The McCain Campaign: A Circular Firing Squad

Blame game: GOP forms circular firing squad

“The cake is baked,” agreed a former McCain strategist. “We’re entering the finger-pointing and positioning-for-history part of the campaign. It’s every man for himself now.”

A circular firing squad is among the most familiar political rituals of a campaign when things aren’t going well. But it is rare for campaign aides to be so openly participating in it well before Election Day.

(I claim credit for DEPRESSION, POISON, CRAZY LADY #3, STRIPPERS, and SERIOUS BUSINESS.)

funny pictures

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