Spontaneous ∂erivation

Many people really don’t know me.

In fact, considering what my closest friends assume about me, I’d be pressed to put it at 100% of people really don’t know me.

The problem, I think, is that they tend to know me either only in real life or only online. The shocker is when they finally meet the other persona they don’t know.

In real life, I’m the girl laughing out loud, smiling, hugging people; giggles unstoppably, bordering on flirtatious. Ditzy in all senses of the word. ¹

Online, I’m a bit more… composed. My best friends (who are IRL friends) would say, “Coherent! With an attention span!”

Logically I must be, since I hash out code for a living, but I am almost entirely illogical in social situations.²

In real life, people think I’m stupid.³

Online, people think I’m erudite.

Man, people really don’t know me.

But it is ever so amusing to watch them be surprised. I think it’s probably why I keep up the stupid/smart insane/sane offline/online act: because watching the cognitive dissonance is full of awe, and then some, and that makes awesome.

So now you know.

(Inspired by John Scalzi’s Portrait of a Closet Introvert musings.)

1. I’ve said before, either here or on Twitter, that I learned a lot of social tics from the television shows. Seriously, y’all, your prime time TV is kinda scary. [↩]
2. May I repeat: your sitcoms are scary. [↩]
3. Or, at least, smart in an extremely narrow band. [↩]

Photographer: Michel Filion

When it hits the island, it really whacks it sideways with a 2×4 and then stomps up and down until the island is out of power for multiple days. Last time it was out, I was out for seven.

So: checklist of things I need to do:

1. Upload all my valuable files and stuff I was working on to my encrypted JungleDisk share, which sits on Amazon’s super-redundant S3 storage.

   This includes all the books I’m working on, every cool script, and thanking the gods I’m not running my own webserver anymore.

   I’ve also saved my Amazon MP3 music up there. It currently costs me 12 cents a month.

   iPod owner’s note: Your iPod can too be an accessible 2-way storage of music. See iLinkPod to show you the way to drag the muzak out of there, and Dukko to rename the craziness.

   DONE.

2. Notify my boss that I may get knocked out by winter winds and be unable to carry out my oncall duties.

   Yeah, that one really cuts me to the bone. Yeah. Uh-huh. To the quick.

   DONE.

3. LAUNDRY.

   DONE.

4. Find my Black n’ Red notebook of awesome and pens of awesome.

   DONE.

5. Write down LOTS of contact numbers, starting with that of my internet provider and the chain of command at work.

   At work, we have a little thing that will create a small PDF, credit-card-sized, of numbers for your teammates and your chain of command.

   DONE.

6. SHOWER! Actually, this can be done even after the lights go out. Hot water storage FTW.

   DONE.

7. Those POND pre-soap cloths that you soak. Those are nice. Couldn’t find them. Wah.

8. Protein in food form. Nuts in wholesale form, for instance.

   DONE.

9. Jim MacDonald’s scary medical posts. in ebook form.

   Surprisingly complicated. May or may not do; I have Where There is No Doctor in solid book form. And also Merck Manual of Medical Information 2nd Home Edition.

   Substituted.

10. Fill up on gas.

    I don’t have to! Because I follow Uncle Jim’s emergency advice: half-a-tank means empty. My tank is pretty much full right now.

    DONE.

11. Shut off wireless on my Kindle after downloading various things and buying a couple titles from the Kindle store (in particular, nonfiction like The Great Movies by Roger Ebert.

    Kindle will last for a week or more without it (wireless is such a power suck).

    DONE.

12. Watch the last bits of Season 7 West Wing while eating a last Digiorno microwave pizza for one (those are really good, by the way). Then pop the West Wing DVD out of the computer.

    DONE.

13. Seriously charge my MacBook for as long as possible, after shutting off the wireless on it too.

14. Flashlights! And many batteries in multiple sizes: 9v, C, ton of AA, many AAA. One of my flashlights can take D, C, or AAA; another one is an LED with lots of life in it that can be used to scare off looters and crush the skulls of zombies; and two keychain ones that still have life.

    DONE.

15. Booklight. Mighty Brite. Takes AAA. Check.

    DONE.

16. Medical refills. Did them a couple days ago, plus I have a million of Daily Essential Enzymes because I can’t digest a lot of food without them. Well. Not well anyways.

    DONE.

17. Bottled water, canned food or rehydratable soups, snacks, and those rehydrating powder packs. I have Emergen-C, strawberry.

    DONE.

18. Portable butane stove and its little butane cans. Check. Little pots and pans and especially the teakettle, check.

    DONE.

19. Automated posts for tonight and the next couple of days. Yay Wordpress.

    DONE.

I may be some time.